still around

Mar. 5th, 2026 07:59 pm
butyourewrong: (Default)
[personal profile] butyourewrong
good and bad news. i made the team, the vending machine stole $2.50 worth of my quarters. other than that my day was great. i hope everyday after practice i get to watch cute guys (and that one girl) play tennis, and maybe drink tea if the vending machine chooses to cooperate.

i want to start writing more, because i only used to write when i was angry. now i barely write because im rarely super angry (or thinking about ugly guys).

i forced my friend to start journaling with me ([personal profile] sincerelyloveme say hi to her). i found this prompt on pinterest and i thought it was interesting, so under the cut is a list of things i would do if i could never fail at anything.

Read more... )

Is Murphy's Law ruling my life?

Mar. 5th, 2026 11:40 pm
einbeistrich: Photo of William Beckett, singer from The Academy Is... He's wearing red glasses and posing by pulling a strand of hair (Default)
[personal profile] einbeistrich
This really isn't my week. After the tutoring fiasco, I got a fine for taking the wrong train. I had to pay 27.520 forints for a new ticket + the fine, which is about 72 euros aaaaaaaaaaaaa. I almost cried when I saw the amount, but refrained myself from doing so because there were two other people next to me (including a cute guy who acted as my interpreter during the exchange with the inspector).
 
The good news is that a great internship position for my area has just become available. There are buses near the workplace that go to my uni and my home, the pay is reasonable, and I would only have to work 12 hours a week (4 hours on 3 days). I'm going to send my CV today.

my day !! :D

Mar. 5th, 2026 09:36 pm
carcrashheartz: (red)
[personal profile] carcrashheartz
im super excited for some reason to make an actual post on here SOOOO!! i took my dog pumpkin outside and it was SUUUPER muddy and rainy so it was super fun!! :D my mom got me those really really good double caramel chocolate ice cream bars and i already ate twi lol!! we did a science experiment in class today and now my clothes smell like apple cider vinegar :c im drinking chocolate milk right now and talking to my girlfriend!! we have a 3 hour time difference so it would be 2:20 for her :D i had sum cereal for dinner because i can do whatever the fuck i want and i took a shower! i have theater tommorow and i have to get up early because my mom has to go out of town for a doctors appointment :) im very nervous about theater because im just a very awkward person in general.. but im gonna wear my super awesome p!atd bracelets!! and i also get to go to my grandparents house after and my dad has his old cds in their attic! and last year when i went up there to look for something with my dad i was looking at the cds and there was an afycso one! sadly i didnt take it because i didnt know panic! that well then :c but im gonna ask my grandpa if i can go up to go get it!! im feeling kinda sleepy but im gonna stay up till 1 am again because i just cant have a normal sleep schedule! bye !!

lil intro post!!

Mar. 5th, 2026 01:55 pm
carcrashheartz: (Default)
[personal profile] carcrashheartz
hey!! idk if anyones ACTUALLY gonna read this but lol.. anyway basic info about me!! my favorite song is either build god then we'll talk, w.a.m.s, cemetery drive, or northern downpour!! i play guitar as a hobby, im not that good tho, uhh yes i did name myself after ryan ross i have free will and its a cool af name.. thats about it bye :D
elyusion: erm ackshually (nerd)
[personal profile] elyusion
Title: Malcolm X (1992)
Type: 🎥
Genre: Biopic, History, Drama
Poor Summary: You know who Malcolm X is. If you don't, then basicallyyy he's a USian Civil Rights leader who preached black pride, self-defense, economic independence, conversion to Islam, etc. (along with other more insane things due to the nature of The Nation of Islam.) He used to be against segregation because he didn't think black people could ever get along with their enemies, but after performing the Hajj and feeling the unity of Muslims of all colors he changed his mind on calling all white people devils and his anti-integration stance. Unfortunately, he was assassinated not even a full year later in front of an audience which included his wife and daughters.

Why Did I Watch This??: I need to watch more Black movies, and this one had high ratings + I like history and was interested in the subject matter. I probably should've watched it last month though ^_^; I probably should've tried to watch like 5 Black movies last month, but the idea never came to mind. But hey! I can do that any month I like. Black history is always relevant.
Strongest Aspect: I'm not a movie guy, so don't expect big words from me. #1 is the colors. #2 is Malcolm's own words.
Favorite Part: Nelson Mandela at the end delivering part of a speech by Mr. X, and the cut to footage of Malcolm X finishing it. Did you know the cut was because Mandela just got out of jail and he didn't want to get in trouble with South Africa's government by saying anything that could be seen as encouraging violence? He didn't want that soundbite to be out there. So Spike Lee "got" Malcolm to say "... by any means necessary" himself.
Least Favorite Part: I don't have one. Whole movie was good, and that shit was 3.5 hours long LMAO. If I'm being held at gunpoint to give an answer, I guess the pilgrimage part didn't particularly excite me, but I think that's a skill issue on my part and not reflective of that... "arc" ? ???
yap follows )

Love from the other side

Mar. 4th, 2026 09:09 am
einbeistrich: Photo of William Beckett, singer from The Academy Is... He's wearing red glasses and posing by pulling a strand of hair (Default)
[personal profile] einbeistrich
Have you ever hurt someone you love without meaning to? Or worse, have you ever done it on purpose?
 
Honestly, it scares me how much power and control people can exert over others when feelings are involved. For most of my life, especially during my parents' divorce and my six-year relationship, I witnessed and experienced this first-hand. I feel ashamed when I remember how I let people walk all over me just because I loved them. I would have knelt down and licked their shoes if they had asked me to.
 
Now, in my late twenties and after a lot of therapy, I feel less vulnerable and more emotionally secure. Today, I would definitely not tolerate certain things that I accepted during my teenage years and early adulthood. Even so, I still feel that I let my boyfriend hurt me continuously.
 
And that's where I stop being a victim and become a potential tormentor.
 
I confess that, in my moments of moral weakness, I wish he felt as lonely, neglected and hurt as I do. Isn't that horrible? Even if it remains in the realm of imagination, I can't help but feel like scum.
 
I wonder what version of myself will return from Germany. Will I be a good little sheep and accept everything passively? Will I refuse to be devalued? Will I try to make him as upset and bitter as I am?
 
I guess every lover indeed has a dagger in their hand.
einbeistrich: Photo of William Beckett, singer from The Academy Is... He's wearing red glasses and posing by pulling a strand of hair (Default)
[personal profile] einbeistrich
I knew there was something wrong with the German tutoring position. I emailed the professor and he replied that they took away his scholarship quota because the class has fewer than 28 students. I am completely devastated. He could have at least warned me about this before. Why on earth did he announce to the class that I would be the tutor?
 
I'm going to offer to be a volunteer assistant, since I don't have any other scholarship options and the experience is welcome anyway, but I'm still disappointed. I'm trying not to cry, because there are three other girls sleeping in my room, damn it.
 
Now I'm going to make an effort to reply to everyone I left unanswered here on Dreamwidth.

[WIP] Ma Bling!!!

Mar. 4th, 2026 12:21 am
porcelainlamb: (Default)
[personal profile] porcelainlamb
Here's a dumb sketch of a ferret dude because why not! Also, ibis paint jumpscare, lulz... I've finally got my Photoshop control panel, and it's fucking awesome; I'll take a picture tomorrow since I'm going to bed now! ‼(•'╻'• )꒳ᵒ꒳


butyourewrong: (Default)
[personal profile] butyourewrong
hello.

it's been forever since i posted. im not obsessed with boys (right now) if anyone was wondering. im trying out for the badminton team. it's been ages since i felt enough anger to make an entire post about it. im not going to say the words im thinking because i may jinx it, but you get the idea.

FUTCT demos got leaked and omg..'we dont take hits, we write them' was actually on there. its one of my favorite fob songs, but there has only been a grainy live version of it. i don't really tell anyone that because i don't want to seem like that kind of fan that ONLY likes deep cuts. i can't stand those people, people who act like they're too good for post hiatus. yes immortals is co-worker music, yes it's still a good song. i actually cried when i heard the demo for we don't take hits. not because it was "the greatest thing ever produced," but because i used to stay awake at night praying for a studio version, a demo, or at least a live version that is actually discernible (but even without the noise, when did patrick ever enunciate his words?)

anyways, im going to attempt to go back to bed. goodnight.

xoxo

a

Ah, So Silly!!!

Mar. 2nd, 2026 09:00 pm
porcelainlamb: (Default)
[personal profile] porcelainlamb
I've finally got to about 4200+ words on my dissertation after like forever, and I'm quite proud of myself for locking in today! :D Right now, I'm making a bunch of icons for myself and watching Tales of Herding Gods since I'm bored; first icon turned out meh but the second one I'm currently on is actually goated!!! I'll upload it as soon as I'm done, hehe!!! <3 Last week, I rambled to one of my mates about duskwalker (an edgy vampire demon race I invented; DON'T STEAL!!!) lore and like the overall worldbuilding surrounding my characters n' shit... I sounded insane ngl, lmao. I updated my site with some random bits here and there, just so I don't make it seem like I've abandoned it -______-

In more serious news, it seems like every pharmacy in my area are out of stock of EpiPens; WHICH IS CRAZY!!! I've been waiting for this refill for over two years now, and I feel like I've barely made any progress... Like this shit's vital since I have a pretty bad nut allergy and can't take any risks! >:[ Healthcare in this country is heading downhill for real, people!!!

That's all! Bye!
elyusion: i like blueberry waffles most btw if you were wondering (waffles)
[personal profile] elyusion

The @ in the corner is of the YouTube channel I watched this on.

Title: The Legend of Luoxiaohei: The Gate of All Living Beings / 罗小黑战记 众生之门 / Luo Xiaohei Zhan Ji: Zhongsheng Zhi Men
Year: 2021, 2 years after the first movie and a decade after the first season.
Type: ONA (thank you bilibili)
Genre: Action, Adventure, Comedy, Supernatural
Poor Summary: In the first season, Luo Xiaobai (Little White) finds a black cat and brings it home, naming it Xiaohei (Little Black). Unbeknowst to her, the strange cat is actually a spirit/elf/demon/depends on the translation who is on an important mission!! If he successfully completes it, he can become an Executor (less violent than it sounds. I guess it's kind of like Spirit World Special Ops?) and work alongside with his absurdly overpowered master. Lots of shots displaying the beauty of nature and everyday life interspersed by breathtakingly fast action scenes follow. This season is about his final mission, in which he and the friends he's made along the way have to >_> enter a VR game >_> which is popular among both humans and spirits >_> and he has to like do missions in it or something IDK I don't remember his exact mission because I hate when cartoons or comics are video games. #LetGamesBeGames

Why Did I Watch This??: Loved the movies so much I decided I have to have the full scoop on this little cat, so I intend to check out all the other media from the same series too.
Strongest Aspect: Just like the movies and first season, the animation is great and the art style is too cute <3 I really really love the art of this series.
Favorite Part: Definitely the last episode or 3, because the entire concept of the season had me worried it was gonna be bad and it WAS kinda of me~h until we finally got some major asskicking involved, as well as the master-father finally showing his face(!! the show had been avoiding showing him like he's some kind of final boss, even if I know full well what he's like from the movie) and having a very very very sweet moment with his student-son who lowkey has separation anxiety at his big age.
Least Favorite Part: How often Shanxin had to infodump about how the world works 😭 Even the show itself acknowledged it was all boring at some point. At least they're aware?
yap follows )

フライデーファイブの時間

Feb. 27th, 2026 07:37 pm
elyusion: profile of woman with an updo, kimono, and folding fan (japan)
[personal profile] elyusion
No he escrito en español hace un tiempo así que voy a escribir un media en español y un media en japonés. Original aquí.

1. 今週は何が嬉しくしましたか?
ニューカニーは4周年イベントを行われてる。それに、(お金が恥ずかしいくらいかかったけど、)新しいエドモンドカードを取った。いっぱいエドくんを見ることができてよかった。

2. ¿Qué te puso triste?
Ummmmmm Quise trabajar para la biblioteca pero hizo la aplicación incorrectamente y tal vez sea demasiado tarde para corregirlo. Deseo que conseguar el trabajo de todos modos pero... Ughhh Por favor Dios no quiero trabajar en ventas otra vez porfaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

3.今週は何が憤ろしくしましたか?
特に何も~

4. ¿Que esperas con ansias dentro de la semana que viene?
*buscar en mi bujo* Progeso en mi videojuego que estoy haciendo, aprender mas bailes, mirar las películas, conseguir un auto finalmente (pero no voy a tenerlo hasta dos semanas pasan).... Eso es todo.

5. 来週はたのしみにしていないことがありますか?
とくになーにもっ。 全部うまくいっていていい気分があるよ✰

GOOD NEWS!!!!

Feb. 27th, 2026 02:13 pm
einbeistrich: Photo of William Beckett, singer from The Academy Is... He's wearing red glasses and posing by pulling a strand of hair (Default)
[personal profile] einbeistrich
I GOT THE GERMAN TUTORING POSITION!!!!!!

...and the weirdest thing is that everyone knew that but me.

Basically, I found out through a friend that the professor announced the news to her class on Monday. Why hasn't he told me that yet? Who the fuck knows. I'm just glad I got the position and will be working for him for the rest of the semester.

As a treat for myself, I had sushi in Little Tokyo. My dinner was more expensive than the bed in the hostel I'm spending the night at, yet it was so worth it.

PS: It's almost 2 am as I finish this entry, and I just blasted loud music by accident, probably waking up the whole room. In case you're wondering which tune tortured my roommates, here it is:



Mijn reis door Vlaanderen

Feb. 25th, 2026 10:17 am
einbeistrich: Photo of William Beckett, singer from The Academy Is... He's wearing red glasses and posing by pulling a strand of hair (Default)
[personal profile] einbeistrich
Today marks the end of my trip to Belgium. I spent the last few days at a friend’s house and visited Ghent, Bruges, Ypres, and Antwerp. I found out that Dutch is less scary than I thought (or that my seven years of learning German are actually useful for something). R. was obnoxious the whole trip and told everyone she couldn't sleep because I snore, even though she was the one snoring throughout the night. G., by comparison, was a darling from beginning to end. Our host, R., and his brother, M., were really warm and great company. M., unlike R., didn't speak Portuguese with me, even though it's his first language - I’m not sure why. R. took us out to eat fries and drink at a bar where you have to leave your shoe as collateral to order a 1.2-liter beer. Besides that, my favourite things were the colourful houses and the pralines I ate in Bruges. The waffles were underwhelming, though. For the first time in my life, I was the oldest person in the house. That freaked me out.

How I Look With He/Him In My Bio

Feb. 21st, 2026 09:08 pm
elyusion: illust borrowed from https://store.line.me/stickershop/product/1165071/en (happy)
[personal profile] elyusion


The long-awaited fit post! (🦗🦗🦗) One of my resolutions was to work on my wardrobe, and another was to "become a normal adult... according to my own standards," which means being cool and desirable (among other things). Here are outfits that show my efforts towards that resolution so far ^_^ Right now I'm starting by working on a capsule wardrobe, 1.5 of them because I basically need "female" and "male" wardrobes, and then I'll just buy whatever makes me think "if I don't own this I'll die horribly." Fashionheads of Dreamwidth, please hype me up/tear me down.

The background is the only place in the house with good lighting OTL Sorry if the dog food kills the vibe. I'm surprised the dog herself didn't photobomb me, but maybe she instinctively knew not to get in the way of a good fit.
About the Fits )
I don't really know what kind of advice I'm seeking, but if you have anything you want to say to someone just starting to look ~cool~ let me know!! I have kind of read a lot of theory (video games about clothes + a long history of being a Tumblrina + some Pinterest use thrown in), but have done little practice (wore a uniform throughout my public school years, didn't want to buy clothes because I rarely went out, chronically uncool, etc.).

Too Many Birthdays!!!

Feb. 20th, 2026 04:44 pm
radiohabit: Photo of a raccoon in warm lighting looking into the camera. (Default)
[personal profile] radiohabit
All my friends have birthdays in February. Okay, not all of them. But an unreasonable amount of them have a birthday in February. I just spent $34 I do not have on two medium pizzas and 5 cokes because the cashier decided to swindle me. Read more... )

Whyyy are people like that??

Feb. 21st, 2026 01:37 am
einbeistrich: Photo of William Beckett, singer from The Academy Is... He's wearing red glasses and posing by pulling a strand of hair (Default)
[personal profile] einbeistrich
Que noite de merda. Seriously, I'm enraged - let me explain why:
 
Last month, an acquaintance (a friend of friends) invited me to a cuban party. Since we had traveled together and interacted in class and on Instagram, I ended up accepting. He really seemed like a nice guy, so what could go wrong?
 
From the very first minute, I realized it was going to be a disaster. He brought his cousin, a super weird guy who didn't even introduce himself to me. We talked a little, which was okay, but after a while, the conversation died down and they basically just started interacting with each other. At one point, they decided to move to the other side of the room and didn't even tell me. I would've been left behind if I hadn't followed them.
 
After a couple of hours, I saw that I still had about 30 minutes before my bus, so I decided to stop by the bar and get another beer. As soon as I returned to the dance floor, I found my "friend." He told me they were leaving and didn't even ask if I had a safe way to get home, even though he knows I live far away. And his cousin didn't even say goodbye, by the way.
 
Whatever, I drank my beer and went to the bus stop. Of course, everything continued to go wrong: I waited about 40 minutes and no bus came. People gave up waiting, and eventually, there were only two girls left. They called an Uber and stared at me before getting into the car, which was very weird. They didn't even ask if I wanted to share the ride. I thought maybe they would do me that favor, since they knew we were going to the same place (only one bus line stops there, and they heard me on the phone with my best friend talking about it).
 
I was desperate because I, a woman, was alone on the street at 1:20 am with no prospect of getting home. Luckily, a taxi showed up shortly after everyone else had left. My best friend said she was praying for me when that happened. I'm agnostic, but I like to think it helped.

...
 
Damage for the night: 12 € (entrance fee I didn't know I'd have to pay) + 7.4 € (2 beers) + 19 € (taxi) = 38.4 
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